D.I.T.K. Travel

We all know the famous acronym for D.I.N.K, but have you ever heard of its red-neck hillbilly cousin the D.I.T.K. - Dual Income Two Kids?

6 years ago I went back to work. You can find many moody posts over-explaining and under-editing my situation here. With the stability of a second income came the instability of time off. Life is a trade-off, my friend. Gone were the days of month long stays abroad and "meeting Scott in Tel Aviv, just because". Now I had to squeeze a month's worth of travel into 1-2 week chunks. At first I really resented the idea and I found myself faced with two options:

1. Make it work and find a way to crush fast and furious travel.

2. Don't go anywhere and mope about how much I wished I was a stay at home mom.
   

   And I suppose the third option was to "just quit" and then live with the shame of being a quitter.
   

Well, momma didn't raise a quitter. So I went for option 1. We started off small with stay-cations here and there. I typically would get off work early on Fridays so Scott and I would pack up the kids for a resort down in Phoenix. This gave us a chance to see where the holes were with regards to our day to day logistics. These were some of the big things that stood out to me:

- Prepping to leave the office. Making sure any loose ends were tied up as I would be in no mood to deal with any "loose ends that became a crisis over the weekend" on Monday morning.

• Making sure I did mid-week laundry so the kid's school uniforms & my uniforms would be fresh for Monday.

• Having frozen pizza stocked for dinner on Sunday night when we rolled in sad and vacation-hung over.

• Verify that everyone was set for clothing for an entire week if the vacation laundry had to sit in suitcases for the entire week. It wasn't ideal, but knowing I could "let it go" was everything.

Then we got a little bit more bold with our travel and went to Hawaii. Then Chicago. Then more stay-cations. Then we decided to go big and went for Italy.

All along the way I learned some lessons regarding traveling as a two-working parent household.

For context: This is how I used to plan trips. Find a location (probably in Europe). Troll Airbnb or VRBO for the cheapest and most highly rated vacation rental. It could be Zone 4 in London and I was fine with it. We had time! Who cares! See the obscure museum! Go to the evening church service at Westminster Abbey! Then, plan to cook and do day to day life in said vacation rental and brown bag it for most meals when we were out. Take public transit and live our best single income life. Tropical vacations were very much the same. Stay inland, rent a car, PBJ on the beach. See some historic stuff, because we have to. Fly home and take the LATEST flight possible because we are sad to leave and spend the next month recovering from said trip.

Life as two working parents will just take that golden calf and turn it into ground beef so. fast. Why? Time is more limited. I am not available to the be the post-vacation doula to the family. Everyone is for themselves to get over jetlag and be functional. Suddenly I find myself judging those people who go to Club Med far less because, damn, this travel thing is hard now. Here is what I've got for you:

1. Plan a buffer day. As tempting as it is to just roll off the tarmac and into your day job, I cannot stress this enough- DO NOT GIVE IN TO IT. Odds are good if you are reading this you have a job that requires you to be sharp and on your A-game. You will not be on your A-game with the grime of the airport still on you. You will be tired and miserable. Give yourself a day to sleep, catch up, and debrief. However, you can leave the moment you clock out on your way TO your location. You have momentum, you are excited, there is something romantic about changing in the breakroom and putting on your travel stretchy pants!
   

2. Opt for a comfier seat on the airplane on the way home. I am not a "first class or I quit" kinda gal. I will say that if you can get something nicer for your return flight you will feel less battered emotionally and physically. Also, you won't be dreading the return flight quite as much if there are mimosas in a plastic cup waiting for you.
   

   

   3. Evaluate what kind of vacation you want. Do you want to adventure? Or do you want to be a Sun Lizard? When we went to Hawaii, I told Scott my vision was to be like Kevin from The Office "I just want to lie in the sand and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted." We did just that. It was amazing.
   

   

3. Splurge for the nicer experience. Since we had two incomes, but limited time we could afford way nicer hotels for a shorter amount of time. We didn't have to stretch our lodging budget over 3 weeks, we could just blow it on an amazing waterfront hotel for a week. Life is full of tradeoffs like that.
   

   

4. Be proactive about your indulgences. This one might sound a little weird. Let me explain. Take the time to really evaluate what it is about your trip that will actually make your life easier. Is room service really that important? Or can you have a bunch of trail mix and uncrustables and be just as happy? Do you want an Uber Lux for that midnight ride from the airport to your hotel in Rome or would you be just as happy figuring out the public transit? Is a treatment session at the resort spa important or is a soak in the hot tub just as relaxing? I can tell you that most of my "emotional bank withdrawals" were more in having a nice quiet car and less about french fries with tiny ketchup bottles.

   
   

5. Prep the family on the return home. Set expectations that this is a team effort. Gone are the days of having your post-vacation doula. Luggage will sit longer. Dinners will be simpler. Everyone has to get back into the swing of things and that means it will feel disjointed. Now, whenever our car gets off the freeway to head back to our house I start prepping the boys with their marching orders: Suitcases upstairs, sort your laundry, clean up the dog area, and go get in the shower. The morning after they get a similar speech: We know you are tired. That is ok. Have a good attitude. It is a blessing to be tired from a fun trip. Work on your homework. Don't forget to communicate with your teachers what kind of make up assignments you need to do.

I suppose it really comes down to the idea of "Begin with the end in mind" from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Before I had real time crunches I could react to my vacation plan. Make it on vibes and incredibly cost effective. Now? Well, now it is a bit more complicated. I have to plan with the end of the trip in mind. What will life look like when I get back? When the trip is over, will I feel like I've made the most of this?

I am happy to say that this new way of traveling isn't bad. It has its place right there with our longer trips.